Two Men Talking

A Big Lebowski Experiment

FRED:

“Johnson”?.

GEORGE:

“Our” car, Walter?.

FRED:

(Beat)Hello?.

GEORGE:

(German accent)Who is this?.

FRED:

(absently)Uh-huh.

GEORGE:

(bitterly)Well, shes back.

FRED:

(bitterly)Yeah, thanks Walter.

GEORGE:

(coolly)Come and get it.

FRED:

(grimly)The story is ludicrous.

GEORGE:

(grimly)Whats mine is mine.

FRED:

(patronizing)Okay Dude.

GEORGE:

(quietly)No.

FRED:

(smugly)Calmer than you are.

GEORGE:

(sobbing)Youre bullies!

FRED:

(tremulously)I got eighteen dollars, Dude.

GEORGE:

Jeez!

FRED:

Jesus, you mix a hell of a Caucasian, Jackie.

GEORGE:

Over the line!.

FRED:

Ow!

GEORGE:

So he says, “My son cant hold a job, my daughters married to a fuckin loser, and I got a rash on my ass so bad I cant hardly siddown.

FRED:

The original Port Huron Statement.

GEORGE:

Were sympathizing here, Dude .

FRED:

and bowling.

GEORGE:

had a rough night, and I hate the fucking Eagles, man .

FRED:

in a high coffered hallway.

GEORGE:

serious infraction, and examine your standing.

FRED:

smoking thai-stick, breaking into the ROTC .

GEORGE:

so, like I say, just thought, you know, fair warning.

FRED:

without the means for higher education, so Mr. Lebowski has committed to sending all of them to college.

GEORGE:

your rug, yes, well with that money you can buy any number of rugs that dont have sentimental value for me.

FRED:

100% electronic.

GEORGE:

1972 Pontiac LeBaron.

FRED:

A MILLION BUCKS FROM FUCKING NEEDY LITTLE URBAN ACHIEVERS!

GEORGE:

A dick, man!

FRED:

A fifteen-year-old?

GEORGE:

A fucking goldbricker.

FRED:

A hundred and eighty dollars?!.

GEORGE:

A hundred.

FRED:

A real fuckin brat, but Im sure your goonsll be able to get it off him, mean hes only fifteen and hes flunking social studies.

GEORGE:

A real reactionary.

FRED:

A tree of life, Dude.

GEORGE:

A way out west there was a fella, fella I want to tell you about, fella by the name of Jeff Lebowski.

FRED:

A world of pain.

GEORGE:

A-u-t-o.

FRED:

AM I THE ONLY ONE HERE WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THE RULES?

GEORGE:

AND ID LIKE MY UNDIES BACK!.

FRED:

ANTI-SEMITE!.

GEORGE:

AS IF WE WOULD EVER DREAM OF TAKING YOUR BULLSHIT MONEY!.

FRED:

Across this line you do not, uh and also, Dude, Chinaman is not the preferred, uh.

GEORGE:

Agh .

FRED:

Ah fuck it.

GEORGE:

Ah, this is pointless.

FRED:

Ahh fuck it, lets go bowling.

GEORGE:

Ahh, not so good, man.

FRED:

Ahh, you know.

GEORGE:

Aitz chaim he, Dude.

FRED:

All Im saying is, I want mine.

GEORGE:

All but one man died?

FRED:

All my plants are dead!.

GEORGE:

All right!

FRED:

All right, Im leaving.

GEORGE:

All right, Plan B.

FRED:

All right, get out.

GEORGE:

All the Dude ever wanted.

FRED:

All you needed was a sap to pin it on, and youd just met me.

GEORGE:

Almost five!.

FRED:

Also, my rug was stolen.

GEORGE:

Am I wrong!.

FRED:

Am I wrong!.

GEORGE:

Am I wrong!?.

FRED:

Am I wrong?.

GEORGE:

Am I wrong?.

FRED:

Am I wrong?.

GEORGE:

Am I wrong?.

FRED:

And Donny too.

GEORGE:

And I am sorry about that crack on the jaw.

FRED:

And I assume this is credit card?.

GEORGE:

And I know that you acted as courier.

FRED:

And Im talkin about the Dude here sometimes theres a man who, wal, hes the man for his timen place, he fits right in there and thats the Dude, in Los Angeles.

GEORGE:

And a good day to you, sir.

FRED:

And a good friend.

GEORGE:

And a lot about where he lived, like- wise.

FRED:

And a lotta strands to keep in my head, man.

GEORGE:

And got the kidnappers all pissed off, and the big Lebowski yelled at me a lot, but he didnt do anything.

FRED:

And he has the wealth, uh, the resources obviously, and there is no reason, no FUCKING reason, why his wife should go out and owe money and they pee on your rug.

GEORGE:

And he was an avid bowler.

FRED:

And in fact he met privately with the President, though unfortunately there wasnt time for a photo opportunity.

GEORGE:

And let me point out pacifism is not look at our current situation with that camelfucker in Iraq pacifism is not something to hide behind.

FRED:

And let me tell you something: the whole thing stinks to high heaven.

GEORGE:

And let me tell you something: I dig your work.

FRED:

And lets also not forget lets not forget, Dude that keeping wildlife, an amphibious rodent, for uh, domestic, you know, within the city that isnt legal either.

GEORGE:

And meanwhile, look at the bottom line.

FRED:

And of course I still keep the rug.

GEORGE:

And please dont call her my mother.

FRED:

And report back to us as soon as its done.

GEORGE:

And so, Theodore Donald Karabotsos, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your mortal remains to the bosom of.

FRED:

And stay away from my special la from my fucking lady friend.

GEORGE:

And the fucking money!.

FRED:

And the fucking money.

GEORGE:

And the, uh, the briefcase?.

FRED:

And then I, uh.

GEORGE:

And then theyre gonna stamp on it?!.

FRED:

And then, you know, little of this, little of that.

GEORGE:

And then.

FRED:

And there was a, uh.

GEORGE:

And they say he ran awaaaaaay.

FRED:

And this guy peed on it.

GEORGE:

And this is the study.

FRED:

And this picture was taken when Mrs. Reagan was first lady of the nation, yes, yes?

GEORGE:

And was there anything of value in the car?.

FRED:

And we do enter the next round-robin, am I wrong?.

GEORGE:

And we keep the baksheesh.

FRED:

And we know that this is your homework, Larry.

GEORGE:

And we know which Lebowski you are, Lebowski.

FRED:

And what do they got, Dude?

GEORGE:

And what do you do, sir?.

FRED:

And who does?.

GEORGE:

And with Brandt as my witness, tell you this: Any further harm visited upon Bunny, shall be visited tenfold upon your head.

FRED:

And yes, well be near the, uh some burgers, some beers, a few laughs.

GEORGE:

And yet his son is a fucking dunce.

FRED:

And you know Smokey has emotional problems!.

GEORGE:

And you recognize her, of course.

FRED:

And you were divorced five fucking years ago.

GEORGE:

And you will, uh, you know, youll, uh, you know what Im trying to say .

FRED:

Another Caucasian, Gary.

GEORGE:

Anyway.

FRED:

Are these the Nazis, Walter?.

GEORGE:

Are these.

FRED:

Are they gonna hurt us, Walter?.

GEORGE:

Are you employed, sir?.

FRED:

Are you gonna split hairs?.

GEORGE:

Are you ready to be fucked, man?.

FRED:

Are you surprised at my tears, sir?.

GEORGE:

Arent you?.

FRED:

As if its impossible to get some nail polish, apply it to someone elses toe .

GEORGE:

As the ex used to say.

FRED:

As you can see, it is a ransom note.

GEORGE:

As you took so many bright flowering young men, at Khe San and Lan Doc and Hill 364.

FRED:

Asian- American.

GEORGE:

At a wooden bridge we throw the money out of the car!.

FRED:

At fifteen em-pee-aitch I roll out!

GEORGE:

At least Im housebroken.

FRED:

At least, that was the handle his lovin parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself.

GEORGE:

Autobahn.

FRED:

Aw, forget about it.

GEORGE:

Aw, fuck it.

FRED:

Awww, fuck it Dude.

GEORGE:

Beaver?

FRED:

Because he fucking doesnt want her back, man!

GEORGE:

Beep.

FRED:

Blow on them.

GEORGE:

Blow.

FRED:

Both of you.

GEORGE:

Bowl.

FRED:

Boy.

GEORGE:

Brandt cant watch though.

FRED:

Brandt is approaching.

GEORGE:

Brandt is handing him a letter-sized envelope which is distended by something inside.

FRED:

Brandt will fill you in on the details.

GEORGE:

Brandt, give him the envelope.

FRED:

Brother Shamus?

GEORGE:

Bullshit.

FRED:

Bullshit.

GEORGE:

Bummer.

FRED:

Bums.

GEORGE:

Bunch of assholes.

FRED:

Bunny Lebowski, man.

GEORGE:

Bunny Lebowski.

FRED:

Bunny said you were good for it.

GEORGE:

Bunny.

FRED:

Bunny?

GEORGE:

Burkhalter.

FRED:

Business papers.

GEORGE:

But I do work, so if you dont mind .

FRED:

But I guess she told Dieter.

GEORGE:

But Ill tell you what, after seeing Los Angeles and thisahere story Im about to unfold wal, I guess I seen somethin ever bit as stupefyin as yad see in any a those other places, and in English too, so I can die with a smile on my face without feelin like the good Lord gypped me.

FRED:

But Walter, we didnt make the fucking hand- off!

GEORGE:

But Walter .

FRED:

But fighting in desert is very different from fighting in canopy jungle.

GEORGE:

But hes .

FRED:

But its nice when they offer.

GEORGE:

But only if there is no funny stuff.

FRED:

But perhaps youre right.

GEORGE:

But she hasnt run off, shes been .

FRED:

But that is up to little Larry here.

GEORGE:

But then again, maybe thats why I found the place sdurned innarestin.

FRED:

But then, happen to know that theres a little Lebowski on the way.

GEORGE:

But then, there was a lot about the Dude that didnt make a whole lot of sense to me.

FRED:

But then, why didnt he give a shit about his million bucks?

GEORGE:

But theyre amateurs.

FRED:

But unfortunately there are some people it is called satyriasis in men, nymphomania in women who engage in it compulsively and without joy.

GEORGE:

But you havent told me how we get her back.

FRED:

But you know me.

GEORGE:

But your father he runs stuff, he .

FRED:

But youre not fooling me!

GEORGE:

But aw hell, I done innerduced him enough.

FRED:

By God sir.

GEORGE:

COME PICK ME UP OR IM OFF THE FUCKING BOWLING TEAM!.

FRED:

Call the medics, Dude.

GEORGE:

Call when you get home and Ill send a car for you.

FRED:

Calmer than you are.

GEORGE:

Can we just rent it from you?.

FRED:

Cant leave him home alone or he eats the furniture.

GEORGE:

Catch ya further on down the trail.

FRED:

Chop-chop!.

GEORGE:

Cmon Donny, lets go get a lane.

FRED:

Cmon Dude, eventually shell get sick of her little game and, you know, wander back .

GEORGE:

Cmon man, whore you gonna believe?

FRED:

Coitus.

GEORGE:

Color?.

FRED:

Come and get it.

GEORGE:

Come on Walter, its just its Smokey.

FRED:

Come on, Donny, they were threatening castration!.

GEORGE:

Come on, Dude!.

FRED:

Come on, Walter!.

GEORGE:

Come on, Walter, were ending this thing cheap.

FRED:

Come on, fuckhead!.

GEORGE:

Come on, man!.

FRED:

Come on, man, Im not trying to scam anybody here, Im just .

GEORGE:

Come on.

FRED:

Come on.

GEORGE:

Completely unspoiled.

FRED:

Condolences!

GEORGE:

Could you please keep your voices down this is a family restaurant.

FRED:

Could you slide your shorts down please, Mr. Lebowski?.

GEORGE:

Could you slide your shorts down please?.

FRED:

Couple of Creedence tapes.

GEORGE:

Course, I cant say I seen London, and I never been to France, and I aint never seen no queen in her damn undies as the fella says.

FRED:

Course I didnt like seein Donny go.

GEORGE:

Cowards, both of you!.

FRED:

Crazy, huh?

GEORGE:

Darkness warshed over the Dude darkern a black steers tookus on a moonless prairie night.

FRED:

Dat mang is here!.

GEORGE:

Delayed after-eff .

FRED:

Deos mio, man.

GEORGE:

Did I urinate on your rug?.

FRED:

Did I urinate on your rug?.

GEORGE:

Did Jackie Treehorn do that as well?.

FRED:

Dieter Hauff?.

GEORGE:

Dieter doesnt care about anything.

FRED:

Dieter has been on the fringes of well, of everything in L. A. , for about twenty years.

GEORGE:

Different mothers, huh?.

FRED:

Dipshit with a nine-toed woman.

GEORGE:

Do not slow down.

FRED:

Do you have any news regarding my fathers money?.

GEORGE:

Do you like it?.

FRED:

Do you like sex, Mr. Lebowski?.

GEORGE:

Do you speak English?

FRED:

Do you still have that doctors number?.

GEORGE:

Does he, uh.

FRED:

Does the Pope shit in the woods?.

GEORGE:

Does this place look like Im fucking married?

FRED:

Donny was a good bowler, and a good man.

GEORGE:

Donny who.

FRED:

Donny!

GEORGE:

Donny, shut the f when do we play?.

FRED:

Donny .

GEORGE:

Dont be fatuous, Jeffrey.

FRED:

Dont do .

GEORGE:

Dont fuck with us.

FRED:

Dont fucking say peep when Im doing business here.

GEORGE:

Dont need it.

FRED:

Dont run away from this, Dude!

GEORGE:

Drive around.

FRED:

Dude here.

GEORGE:

Dude here.

FRED:

Dude the Bagman.

GEORGE:

Dude!

FRED:

Dude!

GEORGE:

Dude!.

FRED:

Dude, I finally got the venue I wanted.

GEORGE:

Dude, Im not supposed to make calls .

FRED:

Dude, Im sorry!.

GEORGE:

Dude, Im sorry .

FRED:

Dude, Im it was an accident!.

GEORGE:

Dude, are you fucking this up?.

FRED:

Dude, nothing is fucked.

GEORGE:

Dude, please!.

FRED:

Dude, this is Smokey.

GEORGE:

Dude, uh, tomorrow is already the tenth.

FRED:

Dude .

GEORGE:

Dude.

FRED:

Dude.

GEORGE:

Dude?.

FRED:

Dudes car got a little dinged up .

GEORGE:

Dya have a good sarsaparilla?.

FRED:

Dya have to use smany cuss words?.

GEORGE:

Easy, Dude.

FRED:

Eight, Dude.

GEORGE:

Eight-year-olds, Dude.

FRED:

Elfranco, my robe.

GEORGE:

Employed?.

FRED:

Erev shabbas.

GEORGE:

Ever hear of the Seattle Seven?.

FRED:

Ever thus to deadbeats, Lebowski.

GEORGE:

Exactly.

FRED:

Excuse me!

GEORGE:

Excuse me?.

FRED:

Excuse me?.

GEORGE:

Excuse me?.

FRED:

FORGET ABOUT THE FUCKING TOE!.

GEORGE:

FUCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS!.

FRED:

FUCK.

GEORGE:

Fair!

FRED:

Far from it.

GEORGE:

Far fuckin out.

FRED:

Far out.

GEORGE:

Far out.

FRED:

Father doesnt have any.

GEORGE:

Fifteen!

FRED:

Finders fee?.

GEORGE:

Fine, Dude.

FRED:

Finishing my coffee.

GEORGE:

Finishing my coffee.

FRED:

First of all, Dude, you dont have an ex, secondly, its a fucking show dog with fucking papers.

GEORGE:

For Christs sake, Dude.

FRED:

Forget it, Donny.

GEORGE:

Fortunately Ive been adhering to a pretty strict, uh, drug regimen to keep my mind, you know, limber.

FRED:

Four dollars here!.

GEORGE:

Francis Donnelly.

FRED:

Friends like these, huh Gary.

GEORGE:

From who?.

FRED:

Fuck Me.

GEORGE:

Fuck it!

FRED:

Fuck it!

GEORGE:

Fuck me!.

FRED:

Fuck me, man!

GEORGE:

Fuck off, Da Fino.

FRED:

Fuck that!

GEORGE:

Fuck the three of you.

FRED:

Fuck the tournament!

GEORGE:

Fuck the tournament?!.

FRED:

Fuck you man!

GEORGE:

Fuck you, Walter!.

FRED:

Fuck you.

GEORGE:

Fuck you.

FRED:

Fuck your sympathy!

GEORGE:

Fuck, man!

FRED:

Fuck, man!

GEORGE:

Fuck.

FRED:

Fuckin A, man.

GEORGE:

Fuckin A, man.

FRED:

Fuckin A. .

GEORGE:

Fuckin A. .

FRED:

Fuckin amateurs.

GEORGE:

Fuckin waste of time.

FRED:

Fucking Arthur Digby Sellers wrote 156 episodes, Dude.

GEORGE:

Fucking Germans.

FRED:

Fucking Nazis.

GEORGE:

Fucking Quintana that creep can roll, man .

FRED:

Fucking dog has papers, Dude.

GEORGE:

Fucking fascist!.

FRED:

Fucking language problem, Dude.

GEORGE:

Fucking nihilist.

FRED:

Fuckola, man.

GEORGE:

Fun and games?.

FRED:

GODDAMNIT!

GEORGE:

Gahead.

FRED:

Get a job, sir!

GEORGE:

Get a new drivers license?

FRED:

Get out of that fucking car, man!.

GEORGE:

Gimme the marker, Dude, Im marking it an eight.

FRED:

Gimme the ringer, Dude!

GEORGE:

Given only when theres a worthy, somebody especially .

FRED:

Goddamn wind.

GEORGE:

Goddamnit Walter!

FRED:

Goddamnit, this affects all of us!.

GEORGE:

Going to her fucking synagogue.

FRED:

Good luck tomorrow.

GEORGE:

Goodnight, sweet prince.

FRED:

Got a whole cowboy thing goin.

GEORGE:

Grasshopper Dude Theyre dead in the water!!.

FRED:

Green.

GEORGE:

HAS THE WHOLE WORLD GONE CRAZY?

FRED:

HER LIFE WAS IN YOUR HANDS!.

GEORGE:

HERES WHAT HAPPENS!

FRED:

HERES WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY!.

GEORGE:

HES CRIPPLED!

FRED:

HEY!.

GEORGE:

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

FRED:

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

GEORGE:

Hardly Dude, a new vette?

FRED:

Have it your way.

GEORGE:

Have it your way.

FRED:

Have they called yet?.

GEORGE:

Have you ever heard of Vietnam?.

FRED:

He cant see you, Dude.

GEORGE:

He cant walk, Walter!.

FRED:

He didnt look like a spinal.

GEORGE:

He died he died as so many of his generation, before his time.

FRED:

He fixes the cable?.

GEORGE:

He has healt problems.

FRED:

He has no money of his own.

GEORGE:

He helps administer the charities now, and I give him a reasonable allowance.

FRED:

He lives in North Hollywood on Radford, near the In-and-Out Burger .

GEORGE:

He lives in North Hollywood, on Radford, near the In-and-Out Burger.

FRED:

He looks like a fuckin loser.

GEORGE:

He never even kidnapped her.

FRED:

He no longer digs her!

GEORGE:

He peed on the Dudes rug .

FRED:

He suspects that the culprits might be the very people who, uh, soiled your rug, and youre in a unique position to confirm or, uh, disconfirm that suspicion.

GEORGE:

He thought I had your fathers money, so he got me out of the way while he looked for it.

FRED:

He told me.

GEORGE:

He was a man who loved the outdoors, and bowling, and as a surfer explored the beaches of southern California from Redondo to Calabassos.

FRED:

He was hoping theyd kill her!

GEORGE:

He was innocent.

FRED:

He was one of us.

GEORGE:

He was.

FRED:

Heh-heh .

GEORGE:

Heh-heh.

FRED:

Hello Dude, thanks for coming.

GEORGE:

Hello!

FRED:

Hello!

GEORGE:

Hello!

FRED:

Hello, Pilar?

GEORGE:

Hello, gentlemen.

FRED:

Hello.

GEORGE:

Help me put him back in his chair.

FRED:

Hence the slut.

GEORGE:

Her “co-star” in the beaver picture?.

FRED:

Her life is in your hands, Dude.

GEORGE:

Her life is in your hands.

FRED:

Her life was in our hands!.

GEORGE:

Her parents want her back.

FRED:

Her real name is Fawn Gunderson.

GEORGE:

Here.

FRED:

Heres the bridge .

GEORGE:

Heres the money, and the phone.

FRED:

Heres the name and number of a doctor who will look at it for you.

GEORGE:

Hes a good man, and thorough.

FRED:

Hes a good man, and thorough.

GEORGE:

Hes a good man, and thorough.

FRED:

Hes a nihilist.

GEORGE:

Hes a nihilist.

FRED:

Hes cracking.

GEORGE:

Hes fragile, man!

FRED:

Hes fucking loaded.

GEORGE:

Hes gonna be easier to find anyway than these two, uh.

FRED:

Hes had enough!

GEORGE:

Hes handicapped, huh?.

FRED:

Hes not gonna take your fucking turn, Dude.

GEORGE:

Hes very angry!.

FRED:

Hes very fragile!.

GEORGE:

Hey Walter .

FRED:

Hey hey, Im not messing with your special lady .

GEORGE:

Hey man, dont you have something else you could put it in?.

FRED:

Hey man, why dont you fucking listen occasionally?

GEORGE:

Hey man .

FRED:

Hey!

GEORGE:

Hey, cool it Walter.

FRED:

Hey, cool it Walter.

GEORGE:

Hey, is this him with Nancy?.

FRED:

Hey, just tell me where the fuck you want us to go.

GEORGE:

Hey, man, Im not .

FRED:

Hey, man, if my fucking ex-wife asked me to take care of her fucking dog while she and her boyfriend went to Honolulu, Id tell her to go fuck herself.

GEORGE:

Hey, relax man, Im a brother shamus.

FRED:

Hey.

GEORGE:

His Dudeness.

FRED:

His girlfriend gafe up her toe!

GEORGE:

His million bucks was never in it, man!

FRED:

His name is Lebowski?

GEORGE:

Hiya Allan.

FRED:

Hiya, fellas.

GEORGE:

Hmm.

FRED:

Home sweet home, Mr. L. Whos your friend in the Volkswagon?.

GEORGE:

Hot damn, Im throwin rocks tonight.

FRED:

How come you dont roll on Saturday, Walter?.

GEORGE:

How much they offer you?.

FRED:

How the fuck should I know?

GEORGE:

How things been goin?.

FRED:

How was your meeting, Mr. Lebowski?.

GEORGE:

How would I know?

FRED:

How ya doin there, Dude?.

GEORGE:

How ya gonna keep em down on the farm once they seen Karl Hungus.

FRED:

Howdy do, Dude.

GEORGE:

However, we must of course transmit the remains to you in a receptacle.

FRED:

Hows the smut business, Jackie?.

GEORGE:

Huh.

FRED:

Huh.

GEORGE:

Huh.

FRED:

Huh.

GEORGE:

Huh.

FRED:

Huh?

GEORGE:

Huh?

FRED:

Huh?

GEORGE:

Huh?

FRED:

Huh?

GEORGE:

Huh?

FRED:

Huh?

GEORGE:

Huh?

FRED:

Huh?

GEORGE:

Huh?.

FRED:

Huh?.

GEORGE:

Huh?.

FRED:

Huh?.

GEORGE:

Huh?.

FRED:

Huh?.

GEORGE:

Huh?.

FRED:

Huh?.

GEORGE:

Huh?.

FRED:

Huh?.

GEORGE:

Huh?.

FRED:

Huh?.

GEORGE:

Huh?.

FRED:

Huh?.

GEORGE:

Huh?.

FRED:

Huh?.

GEORGE:

Huh?.

FRED:

Hunh?.

GEORGE:

Hunh?.

FRED:

Hurry Dude.

GEORGE:

Hy God!

FRED:

I BELIEF IN NUSSING!.

GEORGE:

I FUCK YOU!

FRED:

I FUCK YOU!

GEORGE:

I FUCK YOU!

FRED:

I FUCK YOU!.

GEORGE:

I FUCK YOU!.

FRED:

I FUCKEEN KILL JOR FUCKEEN CAR!.

GEORGE:

I JUS BAWDEEZ FUCKEEN CAR LASS WEEK!.

FRED:

I KILL JOO, MANG!

GEORGE:

I KILL JOR FUCKEEN CAR!.

FRED:

I KILL JOR FUCKEEN CAR!.

GEORGE:

I SAY VEE CUT OFF YOUR CHONSON!.

FRED:

I accept your apology.

GEORGE:

I am the Walrus.

FRED:

I am the Walrus.

GEORGE:

I asked my father about his withdrawal of a million dollars from the Foundation account and he told me about this “abduction”, but I tell you it is preposterous.

FRED:

I can get you a toe, believe me.

GEORGE:

I can look back on a life of achievement, on challenges met, competitors bested, obstacles overcome.

FRED:

I can see you dont want to be cheered up.

GEORGE:

I can see youre anxious for me to get to the point.

FRED:

I cant be worrying about that shit.

GEORGE:

I cant blow that far.

FRED:

I cant complain.

GEORGE:

I cant drive, Dude, its erev shabbas.

FRED:

I cant drive.

GEORGE:

I cant solve your problems, sir, only you can.

FRED:

I converted when I married Cynthia!

GEORGE:

I deal in publishing, entertainment, political advocacy, and .

FRED:

I did not know that.

GEORGE:

I didnt blame anyone for the loss of my legs, some chinaman in Korea took them from me but I went out and achieved anyway.

FRED:

I didnt find it to be that exactly, but Ill allow as there are some nice folks there.

GEORGE:

I didnt rent it shoes.

FRED:

I do know that nothing about it indicates .

GEORGE:

I do mind.

FRED:

I dont fucking care!

GEORGE:

I dont know about you, but I take comfort in that.

FRED:

I dont know, sir.

GEORGE:

I dont like you sucking around bothering our citizens, Lebowski.

FRED:

I dont like your jerk-off name, I dont like your jerk-off face, I dont like your jerk- off behavior, and I dont like you, jerk-off do I make myself clear?.

GEORGE:

I dont need your sympathy, man, I need my fucking Johnson!.

FRED:

I dont see any connection to Vietnam, Walter.

GEORGE:

I dont want to be responsible for any delayed after-effects.

FRED:

I double back, grab one of em and beat it out of him!

GEORGE:

I figure its easy money, its all pretty harmless.

FRED:

I figure my only hope is that the big Lebowski kills me before the Germans can cut my dick off.

GEORGE:

I got a rash.

FRED:

I got information new shit has come to light and shit, man!

GEORGE:

I got to thinking why should we settle for a measly fucking twenty grand .

FRED:

I gotta check this with my accountant of course, but my concern is that, you know, it could bump me into a higher tax .

GEORGE:

I gotta tell ya Tony.

FRED:

I guess hes pretty, uh, racially pretty cool .

GEORGE:

I guess thats the way the whole durned human comedy keeps perpetuatin it-self, down through the generations, westward the wagons, across the sands a time until aw, look at me, Im ramblin again.

FRED:

I haff lingenberry pancakes.

GEORGE:

I have no choice but to tell these bums that they should do whatever is necessary to recover their money from you, Jeffrey Lebowski.

FRED:

I hope that my wife will someday learn to live on her allowance, which is ample, but if she doesnt, sir, that will be her problem, not mine, just as your rug is your problem, just as every bums lot in life is his own responsibility regardless of whom he chooses to blame.

GEORGE:

I just got a, an informal report, uh, that a uh, a member of your team, uh, Walter Sobchak, drew a loaded weapon during league play .

FRED:

I just want to say, sir, that were both enormous on a personal level, Branded, especially the early episodes, has been a source of, uh, inspir -.

GEORGE:

I keep telling you, its the Foundations money.

FRED:

I know how he likes to present himself; Fathers weakness is vanity.

GEORGE:

I know my rights.

FRED:

I know that.

GEORGE:

I know what happened.

FRED:

I know youre mixed up in all this, Dude, and I dont care what youre trying to take off her husband.

GEORGE:

I like it too.

FRED:

I like the way you do business.

GEORGE:

I like your style, Dude.

FRED:

I love you, Walter, but sooner or later youre gonna have to face the fact that youre a goddamn moron.

GEORGE:

I mean I had an M16, Jacko, not an Abrams fucking tank.

FRED:

I mean Nam was a foot soldiers war whereas, uh, this thing should be a fucking cakewalk.

GEORGE:

I mean his wife goes out and owes money and they pee on my rug.

FRED:

I mean look at it.

GEORGE:

I mean she probably kidnapped herself.

FRED:

I mean we totally fucked it up, man.

GEORGE:

I mean, do you have any promising leads?.

FRED:

I mean, he knew we didnt hand off his briefcase, but he never asked for it back.

GEORGE:

I mean, if your wife owes .

FRED:

I miss vinyl.

GEORGE:

I only mention it cause some- times theres a man I wont say a hee-ro, cause whats a hee-ro? but sometimes theres a man.

FRED:

I pull over and kick your ass out, man!.

GEORGE:

I received this fax this morning.

FRED:

I said I thought she kidnapped herself!

GEORGE:

I said out.

FRED:

I say I entrusted the money to you, and you stole it.

GEORGE:

I see you rolled your way into the semis.

FRED:

I see.

GEORGE:

I sure hope he makes The finals.

FRED:

I thought you might know, man.

GEORGE:

I told him if it was during league play .

FRED:

I told that fuck down at the league office whos in charge of scheduling?.

GEORGE:

I told that kraut a fucking thousand times I dont roll on shabbas.

FRED:

I understand sir.

GEORGE:

I understand youre taking away the remains.

FRED:

I understand.

GEORGE:

I want Bill Kunstler.

FRED:

I want a child.

GEORGE:

I want a fucking lawyer, man.

FRED:

I want you to see him immediately.

GEORGE:

I was bowling .

FRED:

I was talking about my rug.

GEORGE:

I was, uh, one of the authors of the Port Huron Statement.

FRED:

I will not abide another toe.

GEORGE:

I wondered if Id see you again.

FRED:

I wouldnt hold out much hope for the tape deck though.

GEORGE:

I wouldnt know, Dude.

FRED:

I wouldntve done it if I knew he was a fucking crybaby.

GEORGE:

I wouldve fucked you in the ass Saturday, Ill fuck you in the ass next Wednesday instead!.

FRED:

I, uh.

GEORGE:

I I KILL JOR FUCKEEN CAR!.

FRED:

I Jesus.

GEORGE:

I the royal we, you know, the editorial I dropped off the money, exactly as per Look, Ive got certain information, certain things have come to light, and uh, has it ever occurred to you, man, that given the nature of all this new shit, that, uh, instead of running around blaming me, that this whole thing might just be, not, you know, not just such a simple, but uh you know?.

FRED:

IS THERE A RALPHS AROUND HERE?!.

GEORGE:

Id go but Im pumping blood.

FRED:

If I can find your money, man whats in it for the Dude?.

GEORGE:

If the plan gets too complex something always goes wrong.

FRED:

If theres one thing I learned in Nam .

GEORGE:

If whats during league play?.

FRED:

If you successfully do so, I will compensate you to the tune of 1% of the recovered sum.

GEORGE:

If you will it, Dude, it is no .

FRED:

If you will it, it is no dream.

GEORGE:

If your wife owes money to Jackie Treehorn, that means you owe money to Jackie Treehorn.

FRED:

Ill get you a toe by this afternoon with nail polish.

GEORGE:

Ill be with you in a minute, Mr. Lebowski.

FRED:

Ill drive.

GEORGE:

Ill go out and mingle.

FRED:

Ill just check with the boys down at the Crime Lab.

GEORGE:

Ill say a few words.

FRED:

Ill say it again, all right?

GEORGE:

Ill say it again.

FRED:

Ill see if hes available.

GEORGE:

Ill suck your cock for a thousand dollars.

FRED:

Ill tell you the truth, Brandt, I dont remember most of it.

GEORGE:

Ill tell you what Im blathering about!

FRED:

Ill tell you who I am!

GEORGE:

Im Jackie Treehorn.

FRED:

Im Performing my dance quintet you know, my cycle at Crane Jacksons Fountain Street Theatre on Tuesday night, and Id love it if you came and gave me notes.

GEORGE:

Im a fucking VETERAN!.

FRED:

Im a private snoop!

GEORGE:

Im as Jewish as fucking Tevye.

FRED:

Im getting to your rug.

GEORGE:

Im going home, Donny.

FRED:

Im just gonna find a cash machine.

GEORGE:

Im just helping her conceive, man!.

FRED:

Im looking after it while Cynthia and Marty Ackerman are in Hawaii.

GEORGE:

Im not Mr. Lebowski; youre Mr. Lebowski.

FRED:

Im not a ah, fuck it, just stay away from my fucking lady friend, man.

GEORGE:

Im not buying it a fucking beer.

FRED:

Im not even supposed to pick up the phone, unless its an emergency.

GEORGE:

Im not in; leave a message after the beep.

FRED:

Im not really, uh.

GEORGE:

Im not .

FRED:

Im not .

GEORGE:

Im out of here.

FRED:

Im perfectly calm, Dude.

GEORGE:

Im real fucking close to your fathers money, real fucking close.

FRED:

Im rolling out!.

GEORGE:

Im saying if he knows Im a fuck-up, then why does he still leave me in charge of getting back his wife?

FRED:

Im saying, Cynthias Pomeranian.

GEORGE:

Im saying, I see what youre getting at, Dude, he kept the money, but my point is, here we are, its shabbas, the sabbath, which Im allowed to break only if its a matter of life and death .

FRED:

Im shomer shabbas.

GEORGE:

Im sorry maam.

FRED:

Im sorry, I wasnt listening.

GEORGE:

Im sorry.

FRED:

Im staying.

GEORGE:

Im talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude.

FRED:

Im telling you, I got definitive evidence .

GEORGE:

Im the Dude, man.

FRED:

Im the Dude.

GEORGE:

Im the guy whos gonna KICK YOUR PHONY GOLDBRICKING ASS!.

FRED:

Im the woman who took the rug.

GEORGE:

Im throwing the money, Walter!

FRED:

Im unemployed.

GEORGE:

In a sense, yes.

FRED:

In fact I dont want the father to be someone I have to see socially, or wholl have any interest in rearing the child himself.

GEORGE:

In the briefcase?.

FRED:

In your wisdom you took him, Lord.

GEORGE:

Increases?.

FRED:

Into the limo, you sonofabitch.

GEORGE:

Irish m What the fuck are you talking about?

FRED:

Is hard to verk in zese clozes .

GEORGE:

Is he pretending to be the abductor?.

FRED:

Is he still writing?.

GEORGE:

Is it.

FRED:

Is that what thats a picture of?.

GEORGE:

Is the car out front yours?.

FRED:

Is this a what day is this?.

GEORGE:

Is this your homework, Larry?.

FRED:

Is this your homework, Larry?.

GEORGE:

Is this your homework, Larry?.

FRED:

Is this your homework, Larry?.

GEORGE:

Is this your homework, Larry?.

FRED:

Is this your idea of a joke?.

GEORGE:

Is this yours, Larry?

FRED:

Is what, uh.

GEORGE:

Isnt it, Larry?.

FRED:

Isnt that what makes a man?.

GEORGE:

Iss not fair!.

FRED:

It can be a natural, zesty enterprise.

GEORGE:

It can be claimed at the North Hollywood Auto Circus there on Victory.

FRED:

It dont matter to Jesus!

GEORGE:

It gets upset, its hair falls out.

FRED:

It increases the chances of conception.

GEORGE:

It is a fucking emergency.

FRED:

It is a fucking game.

GEORGE:

It is our most modestly priced receptacle.

FRED:

It, uh, it was probably towed.

GEORGE:

Its Brandt.

FRED:

Its a complicated case, Maude.

GEORGE:

Its a complicated case, Maude.

FRED:

Its a heart attack.

GEORGE:

Its a male myth about feminists that we hate sex.

FRED:

Its a wandering daughter job.

GEORGE:

Its all a goddamn fake.

FRED:

Its all a show!

GEORGE:

Its all over, man!

FRED:

Its already posted.

GEORGE:

Its been stolen, Walter!

FRED:

Its bush league psych-out stuff!

GEORGE:

Its fucking zero!.

FRED:

Its funny.

GEORGE:

Its good knowin hes out there, the Dude, takin her easy for all us sinners.

FRED:

Its just part of your whole sick Cynthia thing.

GEORGE:

Its just .

FRED:

Its not here!.

GEORGE:

Its not my fathers money, its the Foundations.

FRED:

Its the LeBaron.

GEORGE:

Its the LeBaron.

FRED:

Its uh, its down there somewhere.

GEORGE:

Its video, Dude.

FRED:

Its your roll .

GEORGE:

Its your roll.

FRED:

Its your roll.

GEORGE:

Ive accomplished more than most men, and without the use of my legs.

FRED:

Ive got news for you: the Supreme Court has roundly rejected prior restraint!.

GEORGE:

Ive had a .

FRED:

Ive heard the kidnapping story, so save it.

GEORGE:

Ive never been more certain of anything in my life!.

FRED:

Ive seen a lot of spinals, Dude, and this guy is a fake.

GEORGE:

JUST BECAUSE WERE BEREAVED DOESNT MEAN WERE SAPS!.

FRED:

Ja, it seems you forgot our little deal, Lebowski.

GEORGE:

Ja, und maybe vee stamp on it und skvush it, Lebowski!.

FRED:

Ja, uzzervize vee kill ze girl.

GEORGE:

Ja, vee could really do it, Lebowski.

FRED:

Ja, vee still vant ze money.

GEORGE:

Ja, your viggly penis, Lebowski.

FRED:

Jace.

GEORGE:

Jace.

FRED:

Jace?.

GEORGE:

Jackie Treehorn trashed the place.

FRED:

Jackie Treehorn wants to talk to the deadbeat Lebowski.

GEORGE:

Jackie Treehorn?.

FRED:

JackieTreehorn wants to see you.

GEORGE:

Jeez.

FRED:

Jeez.

GEORGE:

Jeez.

FRED:

Jeff Lebowski.

GEORGE:

Jeffrey Lebowski.

FRED:

Jeffrey, you havent gone to the doctor.

GEORGE:

Jeffrey .

FRED:

Jeffrey.

GEORGE:

Jeffrey?.

FRED:

Jesus Christ!.

GEORGE:

Jesus Christ.

FRED:

Jesus Christ.

GEORGE:

Jesus fucking Christ.

FRED:

Jesus!.

GEORGE:

Jesus, Dude!

FRED:

Jesus, man, can you change the station?.

GEORGE:

Jesus whats that smell?.

FRED:

Jesus.

GEORGE:

Jesus.

FRED:

Jesus.

GEORGE:

Jewish day of rest.

FRED:

Just ask him if he ask him about the car, man!.

GEORGE:

Just for making the hand-off?.

FRED:

Just me and Charlie, man, eyeball to eyeball.

GEORGE:

Just one thing, Dude.

FRED:

Just papers.

GEORGE:

Just picked up and left, never bothered to tell us.

FRED:

Just sink about zat, Lebowski.

GEORGE:

Just take it easy, man!.

FRED:

Just, just take it easy, Walter.

GEORGE:

Just, uh, just slip the rent under my door.

FRED:

Keep your ugly fucking goldbricking ass out of my beach community!.

GEORGE:

Kill that poor woman.

FRED:

Lady, I got buddies who died face-down in the muck so you and I could enjoy this family restaurant!.

GEORGE:

Larry Sellers, a high-school kid.

FRED:

Larry!

GEORGE:

Laughable, man!

FRED:

Laundry, Dude.

GEORGE:

Leads, yeah.

FRED:

Lebowski on the right?.

GEORGE:

Lebowski?

FRED:

Lemme take another look.

GEORGE:

Let me assure you I hope youre not avoiding this call because of the rug, which, I assure you, is not a problem.

FRED:

Let me tell you something else.

GEORGE:

Let me tell you something, bendeco.

FRED:

Lets go bowling.

GEORGE:

Lets say a 10% finders fee?.

FRED:

Lets take that hill!.

GEORGE:

Life does not stop and start at your convenience, you miserable piece of shit.

FRED:

Life goes on!.

GEORGE:

Like Lenin said, look for the person who will benefit.

FRED:

Like an Irish monk?.

GEORGE:

Like you, man!.

FRED:

Lingenberry pancakes.

GEORGE:

Lingenberry pancakes.

FRED:

Listen, Maude, Im sorry if your stepmother is a nympho, but I dont see what it has to do with do you have any kalhua?.

GEORGE:

Listen, pal, there never was any money.

FRED:

Little Lebowski Urban Achievers, yes, and proud we are of all of them.

GEORGE:

Little matter to me that this woman chose to pursue a career.

FRED:

Look Dude, I dont hold with this.

GEORGE:

Look at my LPs.

FRED:

Look at that fucking phony, Dude!

GEORGE:

Look, I dont wanna be a hard-on about this, and I know it wasnt your fault, but I just thought it was fair to tell you that Gene and I will be submitting this to the League and asking them to set aside the round.

FRED:

Look, Jeffrey, I dont want a partner.

GEORGE:

Look, Jeffrey, you dont really kidnap someone that youre acquainted with.

FRED:

Look, Larry.

GEORGE:

Look, let me explain something.

FRED:

Look, man, did you .

GEORGE:

Look, moron.

FRED:

Look, nobody calls me Lebowski.

GEORGE:

Look, she kidnapped her .

FRED:

Lord.

GEORGE:

Lotta ins, lotta outs.

FRED:

Lotta ins.

GEORGE:

Lotta outs.

FRED:

Lotta strands in old Duders .

GEORGE:

Love me.

FRED:

MARK IT ZERO!!.

GEORGE:

MARK IT ZERO!.

FRED:

MARK IT ZERO!.

GEORGE:

Made me laugh to beat the band.

FRED:

Manolo will load it into your car for you, uh, Dude.

GEORGE:

Mark it zero.

FRED:

Mark it, Dude.

GEORGE:

Mark that frame an eight, youre entering a world of pain.

FRED:

Marries a guy for money but figures he isnt giving her enough.

GEORGE:

Maude?.

FRED:

May we come in?.

GEORGE:

May we uh, we wanted to talk about little Larry.

FRED:

Maybe hell understand this.

GEORGE:

Me, I dont drink coffee.

FRED:

Me?

GEORGE:

Means I dont work, I dont drive a car, I dont fucking ride in a car, I dont handle money, I dont turn on the oven, and I sure as shit dont fucking roll!.

FRED:

Mein nommen iss Karl.

GEORGE:

Men who are unable to achieve on a level field of play.

FRED:

Men who will not sign their names.

GEORGE:

Might pass out.

FRED:

Million fucking clams.

GEORGE:

Mind if I smoke a jay?.

FRED:

Mm.

GEORGE:

Mmnun.

FRED:

Most people, were working nights, they offer us coffee.

GEORGE:

Mr. Lebowski asked me to repeat that: Her life is in your hands.

FRED:

Mr. Lebowski is disabled, yes.

GEORGE:

Mr. Lebowski is in seclusion in the West Wing.

FRED:

Mr. Lebowski is prepared to make a generous offer to you to act as courier once we get instructions for the money.

GEORGE:

Mr. Lebowski, Brandt again.

FRED:

Mr. Lebowski, Id like to see you.

GEORGE:

Mr. Lebowski, this is Brandt at, uh, well at Mr. Lebowskis office.

FRED:

Mr. Lebowski, this is Duty Officer Rolvaag of the L. A. P. D. .

GEORGE:

Mr. Lebowski, this is Fred Dynarski with the Southern Cal Bowling League.

FRED:

Mr. Lebowski.

GEORGE:

Mr. Treehorn draws a lot of water in this town, Lebowski.

FRED:

Mr. Treehorn tells us that he had to eject you from his garden party, that you were drunk and abusive.

GEORGE:

Much obliged.

FRED:

Mustve been a joyride situation; they abandoned the car once they hit the retaining wall.

GEORGE:

My father and I dont get along; he doesnt approve of my lifestyle and, needless to say, I dont approve of his.

FRED:

My point is .

GEORGE:

My advice is, do what your parents did!

FRED:

My art has been commended as being strongly vaginal.

GEORGE:

My careers, uh, slowed down a bit lately.

FRED:

My dirty undies.

GEORGE:

My dirty undies.

FRED:

My fucking briefcase!

GEORGE:

My fucking briefcase!

FRED:

My fucking whites Say, where is the car?.

GEORGE:

My name is Maude Lebowski.

FRED:

My name is Walter Sobchak, we spoke on the phone, this is my associate Jeffrey Lebowski.

GEORGE:

My names Da Fino!

FRED:

My point, Dude, is why should we settle for twenty grand when we can keep the entire million.

GEORGE:

My rug.

FRED:

My wife is not the issue here.

GEORGE:

NO RULES!

FRED:

NO!

GEORGE:

NOSSING!!.

FRED:

NOTHING IS FUCKED!

GEORGE:

NUSSING!.

FRED:

Nancys pretty good.

GEORGE:

Near the In-and-Out Burger .

FRED:

Nein dizbatcher says zere iss problem mit deine kable.

GEORGE:

Next frame.

FRED:

Nice marmot.

GEORGE:

Nihilist.

FRED:

Nihilists!

GEORGE:

No Dude.

FRED:

No I, I just want to handle it myself from now on.

GEORGE:

No Mr. Lebowski, that had not occurred to me.

FRED:

No arguments.

GEORGE:

No funny stuff, Jackie.

FRED:

No its fine, really, uh .

GEORGE:

No maam, I didnt mean to give the impression that were police exactly.

FRED:

No no, the wealth was all Mothers.

GEORGE:

No one is going to cut your dick off.

FRED:

No physical harm intended!.

GEORGE:

No thanks to you.

FRED:

No time to argue.

GEORGE:

No!

FRED:

No!

GEORGE:

No!

FRED:

No, Im .

GEORGE:

No, Walter!

FRED:

No, Walter, it didnt look like Larry was about to crack.

GEORGE:

No, but .

FRED:

No, look.

GEORGE:

No, man, nothing is fucked here .

FRED:

No, no.

GEORGE:

No, really, I dont even have the bruise any more, I .

FRED:

No, she, she hit me right here.

GEORGE:

No, the, uh, police chief of Malibu.

FRED:

No, they .

GEORGE:

No, youre not wrong .

FRED:

No .

GEORGE:

No.

FRED:

No.

GEORGE:

No.

FRED:

Nobody fucks with the Jesus.

GEORGE:

Not a bunch of fig-eaters with towels on their heads tryin to find reverse on a Soviet tank.

FRED:

Not a charge was true.

GEORGE:

Not exactly a lightweight.

FRED:

Not if I have anything to say about it.

GEORGE:

Not in Nam, of course .

FRED:

Not much to tell.

GEORGE:

Not of California.

FRED:

Not the compromised second draft.

GEORGE:

Nothing changes.

FRED:

Nothing is fucked up here, Dude.

GEORGE:

Nothing is fucked.

FRED:

Nothing.

GEORGE:

Now Dude .

FRED:

Now I got .

GEORGE:

Now I got .

FRED:

Now that is ridiculous, Dude.

GEORGE:

Now that were competing with the amateurs, we cant afford to invest that little extra in story, production value, feeling.

FRED:

Now this story Im about to unfold took place back in the early nineties just about the time of our conflict with Sadm and the Eye-rackies.

GEORGE:

Now, Dude, thats a name no one would self-apply where I come from.

FRED:

Now.

GEORGE:

Obviously youre not a golfer.

FRED:

Of course you do.

GEORGE:

Of course, Mr. Lebowski on the right, Mrs. Reagan on the left, taken when .

FRED:

Of course, theres that to discuss.

GEORGE:

Of course, you do get the good with the bad.

FRED:

Oh for Christ will you shut the fuck up, Donny.

GEORGE:

Oh man, I get it!.

FRED:

Oh man.

GEORGE:

Oh shit.

FRED:

Oh thats okay, I hardly even .

GEORGE:

Oh yeah, howd it go?.

FRED:

Oh yeah?.

GEORGE:

Oh, for Christs sake, Walter!.

FRED:

Oh, hey man, how are ya?

GEORGE:

Oh, him, yeah.

FRED:

Oh, man, dont say that.

GEORGE:

Oh, man.

FRED:

Oh, no.

GEORGE:

Oh, nothin, you know.

FRED:

Oh, please dear!

GEORGE:

Oh, shit.

FRED:

Oh, shit.

GEORGE:

Oh, you know, the usual.

FRED:

Oh Cynthias Pomeranian.

GEORGE:

Oh.

FRED:

Oh?.

GEORGE:

Okay Dude.

FRED:

Okay sir, youre a Lebowski, Im a Lebowski, thats terrific, Im very busy so what can I do for you?.

GEORGE:

Okay then.

FRED:

Okay, Dude.

GEORGE:

Okay, Jackie, done.

FRED:

Okay, but how does all this add up to an emergency?.

GEORGE:

Okay, have it your way.

FRED:

Okay, listen .

GEORGE:

Okay, vee proceed.

FRED:

Okay.

GEORGE:

Okay.

FRED:

Okay.

GEORGE:

Okay.

FRED:

Okay?.

GEORGE:

On you, maybe.

FRED:

One a those days, huh.

GEORGE:

One person only or Id go with you.

FRED:

One oh!

GEORGE:

Or El Duderino, if, you know, youre not into the whole brevity thing .

FRED:

Or he has to pay a hundred.

GEORGE:

Or maybe forfeit it to us .

FRED:

Or perhaps just used it as a toilet, and moved on.

GEORGE:

Or the Creedence tapes.

FRED:

Our basic freedoms!.

GEORGE:

Our fucking troubles are over, Dude.

FRED:

Our guest has to be getting along, Mrs. Lebowski.

GEORGE:

Our mutual acquaintance Bunny is one of these.

FRED:

Outta this fucking cab!.

GEORGE:

Over the line, Smokey!

FRED:

PUT HIM DOWN!.

GEORGE:

Papers.

FRED:

Parla usted Inglese?

GEORGE:

Parts, anyway.

FRED:

People forget that the brain is the biggest erogenous zone .

GEORGE:

Pick it up, Walter, this is an emergency.

FRED:

Pin your diapers on, Lebowski.

GEORGE:

Pink Floyd.

FRED:

Playing one side against the other in bed with everybody fabulous stuff, man.

GEORGE:

Please Jeffrey.

FRED:

Please call us as soon as is convenient.

GEORGE:

Please do call us when you get in and Ill send the limo.

FRED:

Please see him, Jeffrey.

GEORGE:

Please!

FRED:

Please!.

GEORGE:

Please!.

FRED:

Please, Dude, follow whatever instructions they give.

GEORGE:

Please, feel free to inspect them.

FRED:

Please.

GEORGE:

Pleased to meet you.

FRED:

Practicing?.

GEORGE:

Pretending to be a fucking millionaire!.

FRED:

Probably a vagrant, slept in the car.

GEORGE:

Put me down, you son of a bitch!.

FRED:

Quintana and .

GEORGE:

RAUSS!ACHTUNG, BABY!!.

FRED:

Ran away a year ago.

GEORGE:

Real fucking brat.

FRED:

Really, Dude, you surprise me.

GEORGE:

Refill?.

FRED:

Regrettably, its true, standards have fallen in adult entertainment.

GEORGE:

Relax, man!

FRED:

Rest easy, good buddy, youre doing fine.

GEORGE:

Right, Dude.

FRED:

Right, but let me explain something about that rug .

GEORGE:

Right.

FRED:

Roadie for Metallica.

GEORGE:

Roy Orbison.

FRED:

Rug-peers did not do this.

GEORGE:

Saturday is shabbas.

FRED:

Saturday!

GEORGE:

Say friend, ya got any more a that good sarsaparilla?.

FRED:

Scuse me?.

GEORGE:

Seamus and me, were gonna fuck you up.

FRED:

See down, Sweetie.

GEORGE:

See down, please.

FRED:

See?.

GEORGE:

Sent by cowards.

FRED:

Separate incidents?.

GEORGE:

Sex.

FRED:

She is most definitely the perpetrator and not the victim.

GEORGE:

She is the light of my life.

FRED:

She kidnapped herself!.

GEORGE:

She most certainly was not!.

FRED:

She owes money all over town .

GEORGE:

She sought wed be getting million dollars!

FRED:

Sheesh.

GEORGE:

Shes not my special lady, shes my fucking lady friend.

FRED:

Shit Dude, Im sorry .

GEORGE:

Shit yeah!.

FRED:

Shit yeah, the achievers.

GEORGE:

Shit!.

FRED:

Shit, Dude, I didnt know.

GEORGE:

Shit, I know that guy.

FRED:

Shit, Im sorry Dude.

GEORGE:

Shit, sorry man.

FRED:

Shit.

GEORGE:

Shit.

FRED:

Shomer shabbas.

GEORGE:

Shoosh.

FRED:

Show me what you got.

GEORGE:

Shut the fuck up, Donny!

FRED:

Shut the fuck up, Donny.

GEORGE:

Shut the fuck up, Donny.

FRED:

Shut the fuck up, Donny.

GEORGE:

Shut the fuck up, Donny.

FRED:

Shut the fuck up.

GEORGE:

Shutup, Walter!

FRED:

Since you have failed to achieve, even in the modest task that was your charge, since you have stolen my money, and since you have unrepentantly betrayed my trust.

GEORGE:

Sioux City Sarsaparilla.

FRED:

Sir, if you dont calm down Im going to have to ask you to leave.

GEORGE:

Sir, please lower your voice .

FRED:

Sir, this is a mortuary, not a rental house.

GEORGE:

Sir?.

FRED:

Smokey Huh?.

GEORGE:

Smokey my friend, youre entering a world of pain.

FRED:

Smokey was a conscientious objector.

GEORGE:

Snap out of it, son.

FRED:

So Dieter has the money?.

GEORGE:

So as long as we get her back, nobodys in a position to complain.

FRED:

So every time I just want to understand this, sir every time a rug is micturated upon in this fair city, I have to compensate the .

GEORGE:

So far we have what looks to me like a series of victimless crimes .

FRED:

So he thinks its the carpet-pissers, huh?.

GEORGE:

So his toe slipped over a little, its just a game.

FRED:

So if youll just write me a check for my ten per cent.

GEORGE:

So let me make something plain.

FRED:

So no funny stuff.

GEORGE:

So thats what you call me.

FRED:

So where do I fit in?.

GEORGE:

So who .

FRED:

So you have no frame of reference, Donny.

GEORGE:

So you know they were trying to piss on your rug .

FRED:

So your father.

GEORGE:

So youve got nothin on my Johnson.

FRED:

So.

GEORGE:

Some brown, or, uh, rust, coloration.

FRED:

Someone elses where the fuck are they gonna .

GEORGE:

Sometimes.

FRED:

Sorry man.

GEORGE:

Sorry to hear about Donny.

FRED:

Speaking of which, would it be possible for me to get my twenty grand in cash?

GEORGE:

Speed of Sound Tour.

FRED:

Spent six months in Chino for exposing himself to an eight-year-old.

GEORGE:

Sree picks in blanket.

FRED:

Start talking and talk fast you lousy bum!.

GEORGE:

State of Israel.

FRED:

Stay away from me!

GEORGE:

Stay away from me, mister!.

FRED:

Stay out of Malibu, Lebowski!.

GEORGE:

Stay out of Malibu, deadbeat!

FRED:

Still, I hardly wish to make my fathers embezzlement a police matter, so Im proposing that you try to recover the money from the people you delivered it to.

GEORGE:

Stolen cars?.

FRED:

Stop being Jewish?.

GEORGE:

Strikes and gutters, ups and downs.

FRED:

Strong men also cry.

GEORGE:

Strong men also cry.

FRED:

Sure Allan, Ill be there.

GEORGE:

Sure youll see some tank battles.

FRED:

Sure!

GEORGE:

Sure, I gotcha.

FRED:

Sure, Ill put him down, Dude.

GEORGE:

Sure.

FRED:

Sure.

GEORGE:

Sweetie!

FRED:

THATS NOT .

GEORGE:

THE BUMS WILL ALWAYS .

FRED:

THE GODDAMN PLANE HAS CRASHED INTO THE MOUNTAIN!.

GEORGE:

THEN WHY CANT YOU fuck, never mind, just call Donny then, and ask him to .

FRED:

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FUCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS!.

GEORGE:

Take a look at this, sir.

FRED:

Take care, man, I gotta get back.

GEORGE:

Take it easy, Dude I know that you will.

FRED:

Take it easy, Dude.

GEORGE:

Take the ringer.

FRED:

Taking care of her fucking dog.

GEORGE:

Tape deck.

FRED:

Tattoo it on your forehead!

GEORGE:

Tell Walter.

FRED:

Tell me a little about yourself, Jeffrey.

GEORGE:

Terrific, Walter.

FRED:

Thaaaats right, Dude.

GEORGE:

Thaaats right Dude; they pee on your fucking Rug.

FRED:

Thaaats right, Dude.

GEORGE:

Thank you, Donny.

FRED:

Thank you, maam.

GEORGE:

Thank you.

FRED:

Thank you.

GEORGE:

Thank you.

FRED:

Thankie.

GEORGE:

Thanks Walter.

FRED:

Thanks a lot, asshole.

GEORGE:

Thanks man.

FRED:

Thanks, Gary.

GEORGE:

Thanks, man.

FRED:

That and a pair of testicles.

GEORGE:

That fucking bitch!.

FRED:

That fucks up our plan.

GEORGE:

That gives me a very secure feeling.

FRED:

That guy treats women like objects, man.

GEORGE:

That had not occurred to us, Dude.

FRED:

That has nothing to do with it.

GEORGE:

That is for the urn.

FRED:

That is indeed Mr. Lebowski with the first lady, yes, taken when .

GEORGE:

That is our most modestly priced receptacle.

FRED:

That kids already spent all the money!.

GEORGE:

That makes me feel all warm inside.

FRED:

That makes me fucking SICK!.

GEORGE:

That poor woman that poor slut kidnapped herself, Dude.

FRED:

That some kind of Eastern thing?.

GEORGE:

That was his group they released one album in the mid-seventies.

FRED:

That was the sign.

GEORGE:

That wasnt her toe.

FRED:

That, or Duder.

GEORGE:

That, uh.

FRED:

That.

GEORGE:

Thats a Los Angeles Chamber of Commerce Business Achiever award, which is given not necessarily given every year!

FRED:

Thats a Swiss fucking watch.

GEORGE:

Thats a foul.

FRED:

Thats a good one.

GEORGE:

Thats a great plan, Walter.

FRED:

Thats fuckin combat.

GEORGE:

Thats fucking exactly what happened, Dude!

FRED:

Thats fucking ingenious, if I understand it correctly.

GEORGE:

Thats him, Dude.

FRED:

Thats it!

GEORGE:

Thats it.

FRED:

Thats marvelous.

GEORGE:

Thats my robe.

FRED:

Thats really thoughtful but I .

GEORGE:

Thats right, Dude, 1 % certain .

FRED:

Thats right, Dude.

GEORGE:

Thats terrible!.

FRED:

Thats the beauty of it Walter!.

GEORGE:

Thats the key to the city of Pasadena, which Mr. Lebowski was given two years ago in recognition of his various civic, uh.

FRED:

Thats the simple part, Dude.

GEORGE:

Thats what ransom is.

FRED:

Thats why I picked up the phone.

GEORGE:

Thats your answer to everything, Dude.

FRED:

Thats your answer!

GEORGE:

Thats your business.

FRED:

Thats your name, Dude!.

GEORGE:

The Dude abides.

FRED:

The Dude minds.

GEORGE:

The Dude, actually.

FRED:

The Gundersons.

GEORGE:

The Gundersons.

FRED:

The In-and-Out Burger is on Camrose.

GEORGE:

The beauty of this is its simplicity.

FRED:

The big Lebowski gave me an empty briefcase, man, so take it up with him.

GEORGE:

The bridge is coming up!

FRED:

The bulk of the series.

GEORGE:

The bums lost!.

FRED:

The bums will always lose do you hear me, Lebowski?

GEORGE:

The carrier.

FRED:

The driver man, I told you .

GEORGE:

The fuck are you talking about?.

FRED:

The fuck is this?.

GEORGE:

The fucking point is .

FRED:

The kids still got, oh, 96 to 97 thousand, depending on the options.

GEORGE:

The main guy, Dieter .

FRED:

The man in the black pyjamas, Dude.

GEORGE:

The man is a sex offender.

FRED:

The millionaire.

GEORGE:

The nail polish, Walter.

FRED:

The new technology permits us to do exciting things with interactive erotic software.

GEORGE:

The occasional acid flashback.

FRED:

The old man told me to take any rug in the house.

GEORGE:

The only reason she ran off was to get away from her rather sizable debt to me.

FRED:

The physical act of love.

GEORGE:

The point is .

FRED:

The problem is what do you mean whats the theres no we didnt theyre gonna kill that poor woman .

GEORGE:

The ringer cant look empty.

FRED:

The ringer!

GEORGE:

The ringer, Dude!

FRED:

The uzi!.

GEORGE:

The weight.

FRED:

The what?.

GEORGE:

The whites.

FRED:

The word itself makes some men uncomfortable.

GEORGE:

The?

FRED:

Their music is a sort of ugh techno-pop.

GEORGE:

Then whats.

FRED:

Theodore Herzel.

GEORGE:

There are rules.

FRED:

There are ways, Dude.

GEORGE:

There at Bitter Creek?.

FRED:

There is no fucking hand-off, Walter!

GEORGE:

There it is!

FRED:

There was no bottom.

GEORGE:

There was no money in that briefcase!

FRED:

There werent any shots.

GEORGE:

There ya go.

FRED:

Theres a beverage here!.

GEORGE:

Theres no fucking reason heres my point, Dude theres no fucking reason .

FRED:

Theres no ransom if you dont have a fucking hostage.

GEORGE:

These fucking amateurs.

FRED:

These guys are fucking amateurs .

GEORGE:

These are Mr. Lebowskis children, so to speak .

FRED:

These are the policeman .

GEORGE:

These guysre like me, theyre pacificists.

FRED:

These men are cowards.

GEORGE:

These were on the road next to the car.

FRED:

These young men gave their lives.

GEORGE:

They did not receive the goddamn money.

FRED:

They gave Dude a beeper, so whenever these guys call .

GEORGE:

They call Los Angeles the City of Angels.

FRED:

They called about eighty minutes ago.

GEORGE:

They did not receive the money, you nitwit!

FRED:

They didnt get, the fucking money and theyre gonna theyre gonna .

GEORGE:

They finally did it.

FRED:

They hung up, Walter!

GEORGE:

They kept saying they believe in nothing.

FRED:

They killed my fucking car.

GEORGE:

They posted the next round of the tournament .

FRED:

They range up to three thousand.

GEORGE:

They send us a toe, were supposed to shit our- selves with fear.

FRED:

They shot Donny!.

GEORGE:

They shot him, Walter!.

FRED:

They want you to take the money and drive north on the 4 5.

GEORGE:

They were Nazis, Dude?.

FRED:

They were very clear on that: one person only.

GEORGE:

They wont hurt us, Donny.

FRED:

Theyll be pushovers.

GEORGE:

Theyll call back.

FRED:

Theyll call you on the portable phone with instructions in about forty minutes.

GEORGE:

Theyre gonna kill her, Walter, and then theyre gonna kill me .

FRED:

Theyre nihilists, Donny, nothing to be afraid of.

GEORGE:

Theyre nihilists.

FRED:

Theyre not gonna do shit.

GEORGE:

Theyre not gonna kill shit.

FRED:

Theyre not his, heh-heh, theyre not literally his children; theyre the Little Lebowski Urban Achievers, inner-city children of promise but without the .

GEORGE:

Theyve assigned four more detectives to the case, got us working in shifts.

FRED:

Things seem tove worked out pretty good for the Duden Walter, and it was a purt good story, dontcha think?

GEORGE:

Think hes got room for one more?.

FRED:

This Chinaman is not the issue!

GEORGE:

This Chinaman is not the issue, Dude.

FRED:

This Chinaman who peed on my rug, I cant go give him a bill so what the fuck are you talking about?.

GEORGE:

This Lebowski, he called himself the Dude.

FRED:

This Saturday.

GEORGE:

This aggression will not stand.

FRED:

This compulsive.

GEORGE:

This determines who enters the next round-robin, am I wrong?.

FRED:

This driveway.

GEORGE:

This guy fucking walks.

FRED:

This guy is your partner, you should .

GEORGE:

This is Walter Sobchak.

FRED:

This is a hundred and eighty dollars.

GEORGE:

This is a league game, Smokey!.

FRED:

This is a league game.

GEORGE:

This is a private residence, man!.

FRED:

This is bowling.

GEORGE:

This is it, Dude!

FRED:

This is not Nam.

GEORGE:

This is not a worthy .

FRED:

This is our concern, Dude.

GEORGE:

This is quite a pad you got here, man.

FRED:

This is what happens when you FUCK a STRANGER in the ASS, Larry.

GEORGE:

This is your only I. D. ?.

FRED:

This isnt a fucking game, Walter .

GEORGE:

This kid is in the ninth grade, Dude, and his father is are you ready for this? Arthur Digby Sellers.

FRED:

This other Jeffrey Lebowski.

GEORGE:

This was a valued rug.

FRED:

This was a valued, uh.

GEORGE:

This was, uh .

FRED:

This whole fucking thing I did not watch my buddies die face down in the muck so that this fucking strumpet .

GEORGE:

This whole fucking thing I could be sitting here with just pee-stains on my rug.

FRED:

This will not stand!.

GEORGE:

This will not stand, ya know, this will not stand, man.

FRED:

Those are good burgers, Walter.

GEORGE:

Those are the fucking rules.

FRED:

Those guys are we dropped off the damn money .

GEORGE:

Those rich fucks!

FRED:

Thousand, yes, bones or clams or whatever you call them.

GEORGE:

Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax YOURE GODDAMN RIGHT I LIVE IN THE PAST!

FRED:

To all who cling to it.

GEORGE:

Tomorrow vee come back und cut off your chonson.

FRED:

Twenty grand.

GEORGE:

Two oat sodas, Gary.

FRED:

Uh, yeah.

GEORGE:

Uh-huh.

FRED:

Uh-huh.

GEORGE:

Uh-huh.

FRED:

Uh-huh.

GEORGE:

Uh-huh.

FRED:

Uh-huh.

GEORGE:

Uh-huh.

FRED:

Uh-huh.

GEORGE:

Uh-huh.

FRED:

Uh-huh.

GEORGE:

Uh-huh.

FRED:

Uh-huh.

GEORGE:

Uh-huh.

FRED:

Uh.

GEORGE:

Uh?.

FRED:

Under Autobahn.

GEORGE:

Us?DUDE.

FRED:

Uzi?.

GEORGE:

V. I. Lenin!

FRED:

VEAKLING!.

GEORGE:

VEE FUCK YOU UP, MAN!

FRED:

VEE FUCK YOU UP, MAN!.

GEORGE:

VEE TAKE YOUR MONEY!.

FRED:

Vagina.

GEORGE:

Vee belief in nossing, Lebowski!

FRED:

Vee belief in nossing.

GEORGE:

Vee could do things you only dreamed of, Lebowski.

FRED:

Vee dont care.

GEORGE:

Vee sreaten you.

FRED:

Vee still vant zat money or vee fuck you up.

GEORGE:

Vee take ze money you haf on you und vee call it eefen.

FRED:

Vee vant zat money, Lebowski.

GEORGE:

Vee vant zat money, Lebowski.

FRED:

Vee vatch you.

GEORGE:

Very free-spirited.

FRED:

Visiting friends of hers in Palm Springs.

GEORGE:

Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov!.

FRED:

WALTER, FOR CHRISTS SAKE!

GEORGE:

WALTER, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE, WE GOTTA GO TO PASADENA!

FRED:

WE HAVE IT!

GEORGE:

WE HAVE IT!!.

FRED:

WE HAVE IT!!.

GEORGE:

WELL THEY CAN FUCKING UN-POST IT!.

FRED:

WHAT ARE YOU, A BUNCH OF FUCKING CRYBABIES?!.

GEORGE:

WHAT THE FUCK JOO DOING, MANG?!.

FRED:

WHAT?!.

GEORGE:

WHERES THE FUCKING MONEY, SHITHEAD!.

FRED:

WHOS THE FUCKING NIHILIST HERE!

GEORGE:

Wait in the car, Donny.

FRED:

Wal, I lost mtrain of thought here.

GEORGE:

Wal, a wiser fella than mself once said, sometimes you eat the bar and sometimes the bar, wal, he eats you.

FRED:

Wal, uh hope you folks enjoyed yourselves.

GEORGE:

Walk, you fucking phony!.

FRED:

Walter Sobchak.

GEORGE:

Walter!.

FRED:

Walter!.

GEORGE:

Walter!.

FRED:

Walter, Im sure theres a reason you brought your dirty undies .

GEORGE:

Walter, come off it.

FRED:

Walter, face it, there isnt any connection.

GEORGE:

Walter, he peed on my rug .

FRED:

Walter, how .

GEORGE:

Walter, if you cant ride in a car, how dyou get around on Shammas .

FRED:

Walter, if youre there, pick up the fucking phone.

GEORGE:

Walter, listen, Im at my place, I need you to come pick me up .

FRED:

Walter, please .

GEORGE:

Walter, theyre calling the cops, put the piece away.

FRED:

Walter, this is not a guy who built the rail- roads, here, this is a guy who peed on my .

GEORGE:

Walter, this isnt a First Amendment thing.

FRED:

Walter, whatm I gonna tell Lebowski?.

GEORGE:

Walter, you cant do that.

FRED:

Walter, you fuck!.

GEORGE:

Walter .

FRED:

Walter .

GEORGE:

Walter .

FRED:

Walter .

GEORGE:

Walter what the fuck are you thinking?.

FRED:

Walter.

GEORGE:

Wanted to save the finders fee.

FRED:

Wasnt this guy supposed to be a millionaire?.

GEORGE:

Wave of the future, Dude.

FRED:

Wavin a gun around?!.

GEORGE:

Way to go, Dude.

FRED:

We call your fucking bluff!.

GEORGE:

We cant do that, Dude.

FRED:

We did let Father run one of the companies, briefly, but he didnt do very well at it.

GEORGE:

We dont get shit and theyre gonna kill her!

FRED:

We fucked up his pay-off.

GEORGE:

We got a nice quiet beach community here, and I aim to keep it nice and quiet.

FRED:

We got help choppering in.

GEORGE:

We have it!.

FRED:

We have the urn.

GEORGE:

We know its his fucking homework, Walter!

FRED:

We know that this is your homework.

GEORGE:

We know the briefcase was empty, man.

FRED:

We know you kept the million bucks yourself.

GEORGE:

We know you never did.

FRED:

We know you stole a car .

GEORGE:

We need your help and, uh well we would very much like to see you.

FRED:

We play Quintana and OBrien next week.

GEORGE:

We received it this morning.

FRED:

We throw the money out of the moving car!.

GEORGE:

We want that money, Lebowski.

FRED:

We were very .

GEORGE:

We?

FRED:

Weaklings.

GEORGE:

Well Dude, here it is.

FRED:

Well Dude, we just dont know.

GEORGE:

Well I dont see, um what exactly is the problem?.

FRED:

Well I like your style too, man.

GEORGE:

Well be near the In-and-Out Burger.

FRED:

Well call them up and explain it to em, Walter!

GEORGE:

Well can we .

FRED:

Well get that fucking money, if he hasnt spent it already.

GEORGE:

Well its, sometimes the cathartic, uh.

FRED:

Well maybe you and me could pool our resources trade information professional courtesy compeers, you know .

GEORGE:

Well no, like I said, Woo peed on the rug .

FRED:

Well sir, its this rug I have, really tied the room together-.

GEORGE:

Well sure, look at it!

FRED:

Well thats just, thats the stress talking, Dude.

GEORGE:

Well thats your perception.

FRED:

Well they were looking for you, these two guys, they were trying to .

GEORGE:

Well theyll have to reschedule.

FRED:

Well we I dont .

GEORGE:

Well well go out there after the, uh, the.

FRED:

Well yeah.

GEORGE:

Well yes, what did you think this was all about?

FRED:

Well youre right, Dude, I got to thinking.

GEORGE:

Well youre right, Walter, and the unspoken Message is FUCK YOU AND LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.

FRED:

Well, I guess we can close the file on that one.

GEORGE:

Well, I still jerk off manually.

FRED:

Well, certainly thats a possibility, Dude .

GEORGE:

Well, enjoy, and perhaps well see you again some time, Dude.

FRED:

Well, its water under the bridge.

GEORGE:

Well, just take t easy, man.

FRED:

Well, no, not exactly.

GEORGE:

Well, okay, if youve already made out the check.

FRED:

Well, okay, youre not privy to all the new shit, so uh, you know, but thats what you pay me for.

GEORGE:

Well, so, did he is that yoga?.

FRED:

Well, there isnt a literal connection, Dude.

GEORGE:

Well, uh, brace the kid hell be a pushover.

FRED:

Well, uh .

GEORGE:

Well, uh.

FRED:

Well, we were in a handicapped spot.

GEORGE:

Well, yeah I did, but I spent most of my time occupying various, um, administration buildings .

FRED:

Well, you have your story, I have mine.

GEORGE:

Well, you know, sometimes you eat the bear, and, uh.

FRED:

Well, you know, the Dude abides.

GEORGE:

Well .

FRED:

Well sure, I could do that .

GEORGE:

Well yeah, I guess .

FRED:

Well.

GEORGE:

Well.

FRED:

Well.

GEORGE:

Well?

FRED:

Welp, that about does her, wraps her all up.

GEORGE:

Went alright.

FRED:

Were all very fond of her.

GEORGE:

Were fucked, Walter!.

FRED:

Were hoping that it will not be necessary to call the police.

GEORGE:

Were not fucking around!.

FRED:

Were really sorry.

GEORGE:

Were scattering the ashes.

FRED:

Were scattering the fucking ashes!.

GEORGE:

Were screwed now!

FRED:

Were sorry, man.

GEORGE:

Were you listening to the Dudes story?.

FRED:

Were you listening to the story, Donny?.

GEORGE:

Weve been frantically trying to reach you, Dude.

FRED:

Weve got a man down, Dude.

GEORGE:

Weve had some terrible news.

FRED:

Weve recovered your vehicle.

GEORGE:

Wha.

FRED:

Wha.

GEORGE:

What about that poor woman?

FRED:

What about that shit about Vietnam!.

GEORGE:

What about the toe?.

FRED:

What are you, some kind of sad-assed refugee from the fucking sixties?.

GEORGE:

What can they do?

FRED:

What do we tell .

GEORGE:

What do you do for fun?.

FRED:

What do you mean “brought it bowling”?

GEORGE:

What do you mean, Dude?.

FRED:

What do you need that for, Dude?.

GEORGE:

What do you think happens when you get divorced?

FRED:

What do you think?.

GEORGE:

What happened to your face?

FRED:

What happened to your house?.

GEORGE:

What happened to your jaw?.

FRED:

What have you.

GEORGE:

What if its during a game?.

FRED:

What in Gods holy name are you blathering about?.

GEORGE:

What is this bullshit, man?

FRED:

What makes a man, Mr. Lebowski?.

GEORGE:

What the fuck are you talking about?

FRED:

What the fuck are you talking about?!

GEORGE:

What the fuck are you talking about?.

FRED:

What the fuck are you talking Im not were talking about unchecked aggression here .

GEORGE:

What the fuck are you .

FRED:

What the fuck are you .

GEORGE:

What the fuck does Vietnam have to do with anything!

FRED:

What the fuck is going on there?.

GEORGE:

What the fuck is he talking about?.

FRED:

What the fuck is he talking about?.

GEORGE:

What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

FRED:

What the fuck is that?.

GEORGE:

What the fuck we?

FRED:

What the fuck were you talking about?!.

GEORGE:

What the fuck?.

FRED:

What the fuckre we gonna tell Lebowski?.

GEORGE:

What the fuckre you talking about?

FRED:

What the fuckre you talking about?

GEORGE:

What the hell happened?.

FRED:

What the hell is this?.

GEORGE:

What tied the room together, Dude?.

FRED:

What .

GEORGE:

What.

FRED:

What?.

GEORGE:

Whatd he say?

FRED:

Whatever the price?

GEORGE:

Whatre you talking about?.

FRED:

Whatre you, a fucking park ranger now?.

GEORGE:

Whats a pederast, Walter?.

FRED:

Whats in the fucking carrier?.

GEORGE:

Whats mine is mine.

FRED:

Whats that, Walter?.

GEORGE:

Whats the point of we all know who was at fault, so what the fuck are you talking about?.

FRED:

Whats this “day of rest” shit, man?!.

GEORGE:

Whats this?.

FRED:

Whats wrong with Walter, Dude?.

GEORGE:

Whats your drink, Dude?.

FRED:

Whats your point, Dude?.

GEORGE:

Whats your point, Walter?.

FRED:

When we make the handoff, I grab the guy and beat it out of him.

GEORGE:

When did he-.

FRED:

When he moved down to Venice he had to go door-to-door to tell everyone hes a pederast.

GEORGE:

When will you find these guys?

FRED:

When you cross it you srow ze bag from ze left vindow of ze moving kar.

GEORGE:

Where do you want us to go?.

FRED:

Where is she?.

GEORGE:

Where you going, Dude?.

FRED:

Whereas without batting an eye a man will refer to his “dick” or his “rod” or his “Johnson”.

GEORGE:

Whered she been?.

FRED:

Wheres Bunny?.

GEORGE:

Wheres my goddamn money, you bum?!.

FRED:

Wheres the fucking money, you little brat?.

GEORGE:

Wheres the hand-off?.

FRED:

Wheres the money, Lebowski!.

GEORGE:

Wheres the money, Lebowski!.

FRED:

Wheres the money, Lebowski?.

GEORGE:

Wheres your car, Dude?.

FRED:

Which bothers some men.

GEORGE:

Which one was Logjammin?.

FRED:

White Russian, thanks.

GEORGE:

Who gives a shit about the fucking marmot!.

FRED:

Who gives a shit, Walter?

GEORGE:

Who has your undies, Walter?.

FRED:

Who is that?.

GEORGE:

Who the f have you ever heard of a little show called Branded, Dude?.

FRED:

Who the fff .

GEORGE:

Who the fuck are you, man!

FRED:

Who the fuck are you?

GEORGE:

Who the fuck is Arthur Digby Sellers?.

FRED:

Who the fuck is that?.

GEORGE:

Who the hell is he?.

FRED:

Whom I?

GEORGE:

Whore you working for?

FRED:

Whos got a fucking million fucking dollars parked in the trunk of our car out here?.

GEORGE:

Whos in pyjamas, Walter?.

FRED:

Whos sitting on a million fucking dollars?

GEORGE:

Whos this gentleman, Dude?.

FRED:

Whose toe was it, Walter?.

GEORGE:

Why cant she board it?.

FRED:

Why did he think you had it?

GEORGE:

Why me, man?.

FRED:

Whyve you been following me?

GEORGE:

With a record.

FRED:

Wonderful woman.

GEORGE:

Wonderful woman.

FRED:

Woo?.

GEORGE:

Wooden bridge, huh?.

FRED:

Worthy fuckin adversary.

GEORGE:

Wouldnt miss the semis.

FRED:

YOU ARE SCUM, MAN!.

GEORGE:

YOU CABBAGE-EATING SONS-OF- BITCHES .

FRED:

YOU CANNOT HURT ME!

GEORGE:

YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS, LARRY!.

FRED:

YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS?!.

GEORGE:

YOU THINK IM FUCKING AROUND HERE?

FRED:

YOURE OUT OF YOUR ELEMENT!

GEORGE:

Ya see?

FRED:

Yeah Dude, why is Walter so pissed off?.

GEORGE:

Yeah Walter, whats your point?.

FRED:

Yeah man, it really tied the room together .

GEORGE:

Yeah man.

FRED:

Yeah man.

GEORGE:

Yeah sure, if Im ever in the neighborhood, need to use the john.

FRED:

Yeah well, thats just, ya know, like, your opinion, man.

GEORGE:

Yeah yeah, “kill that poor woman.

FRED:

Yeah yeah, I know the fucking show Walter, so what?.

GEORGE:

Yeah, I can see that, Dude.

FRED:

Yeah, I could find this Lebowski guy .

GEORGE:

Yeah, I get it.

FRED:

Yeah, Ill be at practice.

GEORGE:

Yeah, and in the meantime what do I tell Lebowski?.

FRED:

Yeah, and you were .

GEORGE:

Yeah, but I wasnt over.

FRED:

Yeah, but hes a fucking pervert, Dude.

GEORGE:

Yeah, but my-.

FRED:

Yeah, but were .

GEORGE:

Yeah, but what about .

FRED:

Yeah, but .

GEORGE:

Yeah, but .

FRED:

Yeah, but .

GEORGE:

Yeah, go figure.

FRED:

Yeah, it sucks.

GEORGE:

Yeah, man!

FRED:

Yeah, my thinking about the case, man, it had become uptight.

GEORGE:

Yeah, okay, but see, the Dude .

FRED:

Yeah, okay.

GEORGE:

Yeah, sorry, I saw that on the report.

FRED:

Yeah, this is the guy, this guy should compensate me for the fucking rug.

GEORGE:

Yeah, well, right man, there are many facets to this, uh, you know, many interested parties.

FRED:

Yeah, well, what do you care, Walter?.

GEORGE:

Yeah, yeah I know.

FRED:

Yeah.

GEORGE:

Yeah.

FRED:

Yeah.

GEORGE:

Yeah.

FRED:

Yeah.

GEORGE:

Yeah.

FRED:

Yeah.

GEORGE:

Yeah.

FRED:

Yeah.

GEORGE:

Yeah.

FRED:

Yeah.

GEORGE:

Yeah.

FRED:

Yeah.

GEORGE:

Yeah.

FRED:

Yeah.

GEORGE:

Yeah.

FRED:

Yeah?

GEORGE:

Yeah?

FRED:

Yeah?.

GEORGE:

Yeah?.

FRED:

Yeah?.

GEORGE:

Yes Mr. Lebowski, these unfortunate souls cannot love in the true sense of the word.

FRED:

Yes sir.

GEORGE:

Yes youre wrong.

FRED:

Yes, I know about it.

GEORGE:

Yes, heh .

FRED:

Yes, it made it home, Im calling from home.

GEORGE:

Yes, so we were informed.

FRED:

Yes, they dont like hearing it and find it difficult to say.

GEORGE:

Yes, uh, very impressive.

FRED:

Yes.

GEORGE:

Yes?

FRED:

Yes?.

GEORGE:

You and these women!

FRED:

You are approaching a vooden britch.

GEORGE:

You are the bereaved?.

FRED:

You brought a fucking Pomeranian bowling?.

GEORGE:

You bullies!

FRED:

You can imagine where it goes from here.

GEORGE:

You can see the various commendations, honorary degrees, et cetera.

FRED:

You cant board it.

GEORGE:

You cant get away with it if the hostage knows who you are.

FRED:

You didnt think I was rolling out of here naked!.

GEORGE:

You dont draw shit.

FRED:

You dont go out and make a living dressed like that in the middle of a weekday.

GEORGE:

You dont have the fucking girl, dipshits.

FRED:

You dont know shit, Lebowski.

GEORGE:

You dont know, Walter?

FRED:

You dont like my fucking music, get your own fucking cab!.

GEORGE:

You dont wanna know about it, believe me.

FRED:

You find them much?

GEORGE:

You folks ready?.

FRED:

You fucked it up!

GEORGE:

You fucked it up!

FRED:

You fucking asshole!.

GEORGE:

You fucking know its been stolen!.

FRED:

You got a date Wednesday, man!.

GEORGE:

You got the wrong guy.

FRED:

You gotta buck up, man, you cant go into the tournament with this negative attitude .

GEORGE:

You happy, you crazy fuck?.

FRED:

You know Dude, I myself dabbled with pacifism at one point.

GEORGE:

You know this!.

FRED:

You know, my papers.

GEORGE:

You make everything a fucking travesty!.

FRED:

You mean coitus?.

GEORGE:

You mean vagina? I mean, you know him?.

FRED:

You mean, did you personally come and pee on my .

GEORGE:

You mean beyond pacifism?.

FRED:

You might fool the fucks in the league office, but you dont fool Jesus!

GEORGE:

You might learn something.

FRED:

You might want to watch out the front window there, Larry.

GEORGE:

You monsters!.

FRED:

You never went to college?.

GEORGE:

You pull any your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, Ill take it away from you and stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger til it goes “click”.

FRED:

You said it, man.

GEORGE:

You said so yourself, Dude she kidnapped herself .

FRED:

You said so yourself .

GEORGE:

You said you just wanted to come along .

FRED:

You see a wedding ring?

GEORGE:

You see what happens, Lebowski?.

FRED:

You see what happens?

GEORGE:

You seem to know the answer to everything else!.

FRED:

You shouldnt go in there, Dude!

GEORGE:

You sure he wont mind?.

FRED:

You think veer kidding und making mit de funny stuff?.

GEORGE:

You thought Bunnyd been kidnapped and you could use it as a pretext to make some money disappear.

FRED:

You thought, hey, a deadbeat, a loser, someone the square community wont give a shit about.

GEORGE:

You throw out a ringer for a ringer!.

FRED:

You told Brandt on the phone, he told me.

GEORGE:

You told Brandt.

FRED:

You turn in your library card?

GEORGE:

You want a toe?

FRED:

You want me to blow on your toes?.

GEORGE:

You will receive no bill.

FRED:

You wont leave a man his fucking balls!.

GEORGE:

Youll have to get in on the other side.

FRED:

Youll just need to present a .

GEORGE:

Young trophy wife, I mean, in the parlance of our times, owes money all over town, including to known pornographers and thats cool, thats cool but Im saying, she needs money, and of course theyre gonna say they didnt get it cause she wants more, man, shes gotta feed the monkey, I mean hasnt that ever occurred to you.

FRED:

Young trophy wife.

GEORGE:

Your “revolution” is over, Mr. Lebowski!

FRED:

Your answer to everything!.

GEORGE:

Your father .

FRED:

Your maples, Carl.

GEORGE:

Your money is being held by a kid named Larry Sellers.

FRED:

Your name is Lebowski.

GEORGE:

Your phones ringing, Dude.

FRED:

Your plan is so fucking simple, Im sure theyd fucking understand it!

GEORGE:

Your rug was in the car.

FRED:

Your wheel!

GEORGE:

Your wheel, Dude!

FRED:

Your wife is Bunny.

GEORGE:

Youre Bunny?.

FRED:

Youre a fuck, Walter!.

GEORGE:

Youre being very unDude.

FRED:

Youre fucking Polish Catholic .

GEORGE:

Youre fucking twenty minutes late.

FRED:

Youre going to enter a world of pain, son.

GEORGE:

Youre gonna KILL your FATHER, Larry!.

FRED:

Youre joking.

GEORGE:

Youre just looking for a handout like every other are you employed, Mr. Lebowski?.

FRED:

Youre like a child who wanders in in the middle of a movie and wants to know .

GEORGE:

Youre living in the fucking past.

FRED:

Youre lucky she wasnt chopped, Mr. Lebowski.

GEORGE:

Youre lucky they left the tape deck though.

FRED:

Youre not blowing.

GEORGE:

Youre not dealing with morons here.

FRED:

Youre not even fucking Jewish, youre .

GEORGE:

Youre not interested in sex?.

FRED:

Youre not wrong, Walter, youre just an asshole.

GEORGE:

Youre out of your element.

FRED:

Youre the one whos so fucking certain .

GEORGE:

Za, okay, I bring mein toolz.

FRED:

Zere ARE no ROOLZ!.

GEORGE:

and even if hes a lazy man, and the Dude was certainly that quite possibly the laziest in Los Angeles County.

FRED:

bitch!.

GEORGE:

fifty grand.

FRED:

fucking.

GEORGE:

is it, being prepared to do the right thing?

FRED:

it really.

GEORGE:

kid just wanted a car.

FRED:

lets see, I uh music business briefly.

GEORGE:

money, yeah, I gotta respecfully, 69 you know, tender my resignation on that matter, cause it looks like your mother really was kidnapped after all.

FRED:

my briefcase.

GEORGE:

no, of course not .

FRED:

not greedy.

GEORGE:

of half a million.

FRED:

sometimes theres a man.

GEORGE:

that doctor.

FRED:

the Pacific Ocean, which you loved so well.

GEORGE:

the kids got it.

FRED:

these two .

GEORGE:

was his rug back.

FRED:

which would place him high in the runnin for laziest worldwide but sometimes theres a man.

GEORGE:

who loved bowling.

FRED:

yeah .

GEORGE:

yeah.

​